Husbands And Wives – Part 2: A Wife’s Authority

Length: 6 minutes

In our previous part we spoke about husbands. Don’t get me wrong, the wife is also an authority figure in her household. It is true, God has given the husband “the edge” in authority, as it pertains to decision-making (more on that later), but the husband is not the only authority figure in the household.

The 10 Commandments command children to, “Honor your father and your mother” (Exodus 20:12). This shows the woman has authority over the affairs of her children, jointly with her husband.

Titus 2:5 says that women should be “keepers at home,” but this literally means “a guard, watcher, or keeper of her home.” It’s the word “oikouros” which is a combination “oikos” (for home) and “ouros” (for guard/keeper). This shows that God has given a woman authority over the affairs of her household.

In KJV, 1 Timothy 5:14 refers to women as “managing the house,” but the Greek word is actually “master or ruler of the house, head of the house.” A woman is not just a manager of a household but she has God-given authority over her household.

Because a woman also has authority over her household, the things that we discussed in the previous part (about a husband using his authority to serve) goes for the wife as well. It is a general concept for every believer, that the Lord has served us, so we can serve others with what He has served us! With God, we are the receiver, but with others, we should seek to be the giver; freely giving out of everything He has given us (Matthew 10:8). We receive from God, but out of that grace, give to other people.

Matthew 20:26-28 (NKJV) Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant. 27 And whoever desires to be first among you, let him be your slave— 28 just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.”

When God gives us authority (more decision-making power) he does that, so we have more capacity and authority to serve. Therefore, a woman shouldn’t use her authority in a household to get her own way, but rather to serve her children and her household, just like Jesus used His authority to serve us. Serving your children doesn’t mean doing everything your children want, but God has given you authority over your children to serve them with what you know is best for them, as well as your house and your husband.

As we said previously, the only way to successfully accomplish this is to focus on how Jesus served you. If your focus is to serve, you will deplete yourself quickly and never make a real difference. If your focus is how Jesus served you, loved you, and cherishes you, and you relate with that, those same qualities will overflow from you. Many Christians want to exhibit the attributes of Christ, so they are trying to “live up to his example.” But no, you already have all the attributes of Christ in you. You are already everything you need to be inside! You don’t need to IMPROVE, child of God! You just need to PROVE (give evidence) of what’s inside of you (Romans 12:2)! That doesn’t happen by trying to live up to Jesus’ example. Why live up to something you already have? Just see how Jesus served you. Truly receive that. Then, instead of trying to copy it, start relating to it! The more you see Jesus and relate to Him, the more those same qualities get released from inside of you (2 Corinthians 3:18).

Differences Of Roles Between Husband And Wife

In our “modern” society, many women find it insulting that the Bible would say that the wife is in charge of running her household. But I don’t understand when taking care of your children and your household became a less important task. Think about it: We often complain about the increasing immorality in this world. We recognize that, what teachers are teaching, what citizens are voting for, and the agenda companies are pushing, is immoral. But guess what? All those people were once children. What would happen if mothers saw a new importance in raising up the next generation to be godly men and women? It would change the whole world. The next generation of teachers, citizens, and business owners would be God-loving, faith-filled people. That would change everything! And somehow some women find it demeaning that God has made them guardians of their children and household? I don’t see it.

It’s further clear from creation that God built a woman to be the keeper of her household and built a man to work to provide for his household. Even a man’s stronger body (1 Peter 3:7) and a woman’s built-in “childbearing/child-feeding” body parts testify of the different roles for the husband and wife.

Biblically, when God cursed Adam and Eve it was Adam’s work in the field that was cursed and it was Eve’s childbearing that was cursed (Genesis 3:16-19). Why do you suppose that is, if not that these were the differences in their roles as husband and wife?

Both men and women are called to love each other and their children. Both men and women are called to teach their children the gospel (Deuteronomy 6:7), but there are differences in roles. God built a man’s body to prioritize working to provide for his household. God built a woman’s body to prioritize caring for and guarding her children and her household.

Practically, what does that look like? Apart from some inability or handicap, it looks like a man working a job to provide financially and protect his household. It looks a woman, being home to raise her children, also keeping her household (which can involve much outside the house – see a possible correlation in Proverbs 31:10-31).

Does this mean that a woman can’t have a job outside the house? Not at all. Especially if she doesn’t have children to raise. But it does mean that it is good for a woman to prioritize keeping her household and raising her children before doing other things, even if they’re good things. For instance, if a woman takes care of her household and has extra time to work, that’s between her and her husband. After all, God is not calling us to be idle.

Likewise, just because God ordained a man to work for his household doesn’t mean he can’t do other things. It just means that he should prioritize supplying his household before doing other things, even if they’re good things. It could even be ministry related, but a man needs to prioritize supplying his household first (1 Timothy 3:5).

The point is, these are different roles for husbands and wives, but it doesn’t mean husbands and wives don’t do anything else — whether that’s ministry related, work related, or otherwise. But if God gave a husband and a wife these roles, these should be priorities that are taken care of before doing those other things.