Husbands And Wives – Part 1: Husband Not Master

Length: 5 minutes

In the context of a family, God has made a man the head. Unfortunately, there are a lot of misconceptions about this. For one, many believe that all men generally have authority over all women, which is simply not true.

The only time that a man has authority over a woman is in the context of a family.

Ephesians 5:23-25 (NKJV) For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,

On the other hand, if a woman is a man’s boss at his job, then that woman has authority over that man in the context of that job. God even exalted a woman, Deborah, who was a prophetess, to be the judge over all the children of Israel. All of them (men and women) came to her for discernment (Judges 4:5). All of Israel was submitting to a woman. She also led men into battle. We know this was not improper because she was a prophetess who worked miracles by the Holy Spirit. If it were improper, the Holy Spirit would have been promoting sin by working through her, which is not the case (Galatians 2:17).

So, men submit to women at times and women submit to men at times. Men do not have unilateral authority over women. Men are merely the head of their household, in matters of a family.

The Purpose Of Authority

The following points go for men and women who are in authority, but since we are talking about husbands, “Why has God given a husband more authority than his wife and family?” Unfortunately, many husbands use their authority to get their own way because, “I’m the head of this household.” That is not the godly usage of this authority.

If you are using your role as a husband to be “master” of your household, you’re doing it wrong. The Bible makes it very clear that there’s a difference between a new covenant “husband” versus a “master.”

Hosea 2:16 (NKJV) “And it shall be, in that day,” Says the LORD, “That you will call Me ‘My Husband,’ And no longer call Me ‘My Master,’

Here, God makes a distinction between a husband and a master. That means that being a husband is not the same thing as being a master of someone. So, what’s the difference?

A master is someone who is being served.

A new covenant husband is someone who is doing the serving!

How do I know this? Because the Lord is applying these terms to Himself. When God refers to Himself as “Master,” He’s referring to His role in the Old Testament. When God speaks of His role as “a Husband,” He’s referring to His role in the New Testament!

If you want to know the difference between a husband and a master, all you need to do is look at how God ran the Old Testament versus the New Testament because God says He ran the Old Testament as “a master,” but runs the New Testament as “a husband.”

The Old Testament is all about what you can do for God. It’s called the “law of works” because it’s all about the work you can do for God. Hence, all of the “you shall’s” and “you shall not’s.” Under this covenant, God calls Himself “a master.” Therefore, a master is someone who is being served.

On the other hand, the New Testament is all about what Jesus has done for us. What we could not do, God did for us, through Jesus (Romans 8:3)! In the New Testament, Jesus did not come for us to serve Him. He came to love and serve us (Mark 10:45). Under this covenant, God calls Himself our “husband.” That tells us that a husband is the one doing the serving, not being served.

God has not given husbands more authority so that they can be served more and get their own way. God has given husbands more authority to serve their wife and family. He has given them more decision-making power so they can use that power for the good of their family, above themselves (Philippians 2:3-4).

If you’re using your authority to get your own way, you’re acting as a master, not a husband.

Granted, God even calls Himself a husband in the Old Testament (Jeremiah 31:32), but this type of husband was the “master type of husband,” not the type of husband God wanted to be. That’s why He made a new covenant. As far as a “a new-covenant kind of husband,” we can see that demonstrated clearly through Jesus – using His authority to love and serve us above Himself.

All that is well and good, but how can husbands live up to such an example? You can’t. But you can be transformed into it! All you need to do is start seeing what kind of husband Jesus is to you, as His body! See His love demonstrated for you. See His grace demonstrated toward you. See how He served you, not requiring anything in return. See it, believe it, accept it for yourself… but also, relate to it, because God has made you just like Jesus today (1 John 4:17). Transformation won’t come because you see Jesus’ example and try to follow it. Transformation comes when you see Jesus and relate to Him, like you’re looking in a Mirror (2 Corinthians 3:18).

Once you start accepting who Jesus is to you, and relating to Him, knowing that you’re just like Him, you’ll be transformed effortlessly while you’re looking at Jesus.

And if that doesn’t work, do it again, and again, and again! It always works.