Length: 7 Minutes

In Christ, all believers have the same thing, through the same cross. None of us differ in the grace that we have received from God, because we received it through the same payment. And while that is true, while we are growing, we don’t all play the same role, not in this world, in a family, or a ministry. God has us perform different jobs so that we are not all doing the same thing (1 Corinthians 12:4-7). And in these various structures that God has set forth, there will be authority figures for us to submit to, but there’s a right way to do that.

Now, regarding wives submitting to their husbands, Peter makes a very important point, which is not commonly heard. It is applicable to husbands and wives, but we will see that it is a principle that should be applied to all forms of submission. 

Here it is:

1 Peter 3:5-6 (NKJV) For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.

A man is the head of his household. So Peter is talking about wives submitting to their husbands, as is right in a household. 

I should clarify, because this is commonly misunderstood. This does not mean that a man makes decisions by himself. By far, no. We are told to submit to one another as believers. How much more a husband toward a wife, whom he has covenant with (Ephesians 5:21)? Husbands and wives are told to submit themselves to one another sexually. How much more in all other matters (1 Corinthians 7:4)? Both the husband and the wife are authority figures in the household, which is why it is said to children, “Honor your father and your mother,” not just their father.  

The husband makes decisions with his wife. They’re one flesh and function together. Despite this, a man is the head of his household. I believe that means that when there is a disagreement that can’t be settled, the husband gets the last call. This is a serious thing, which should only be done under strong conviction from the Lord. Otherwise, I say, if you can’t do it in agreement, then you don’t do it at all  (Ephesians 4:3).

Nevertheless, it is right for a wife to respect her husband’s leadership in the household. But Peter makes a very important point about submission. He says that the wife should do so while “not being afraid” and not with “any terror.” This is a vital point when speaking about any kind of submission.

Most people in this world only submit when they are afraid of a person. If you think about it for a second, you’ll see what I mean. Customer service agents will submit to the desires of the customer if they fear getting a poor review or rating from them. Companies will submit to their customers wishes if they fear not being able to make money from them. Employees will submit to their employers, because they feel their employer controls their wages, and hence their livelihood. Most of these people are not doing it out of the goodness of their heart, but for fear of consequences. A citizen may submit to a government, for fear of punishment. A smaller person might submit to a bigger person, for fear of being hurt. A self-conscious person submits to proud people, for fear of being ridiculed. 

In fact, many people that are deemed unattractive or unfit come across as very “nice.” Most of this is not real compassion or submission, but self-preservation. When someone fears ridicule, they will walk on eggshells to please other people. But this kind of submission is not godly submission. It’s a kind of submission to people, driven by fear of them. Most submission in this world is only for fear of consequences; feeling that some person has your life in their hands. Peter says to submit, but not because of fear or terror. 

The submission that God advocates, both in the household, or anywhere else is not a submission because we fear consequences from a man. It is submission for the sake of godly order, for the Lord’s sake, and at the Lord’s word, not for fear of a person. This type of submission changes everything. This is the kind of submission that comes from a place of strength and not weakness. It comes from a position of confidence and not fear or timidity.

When you submit because of fear of a person or entity, you are being controlled by them. You will even submit to a person in ways that you know are not right when you are submitting out of fear. When you are submitting out of fear, you will allow someone to control you, even in ways that are contrary to the Lord. But when you don’t fear any man, because your confidence is in the Lord, knowing that you place your life in the Lord’s control, you don’t submit because you must, for fear of consequences. You submit because you know it is right for the sake of order, not because of intimidation. 

And because you’re submitting voluntarily, and not being forced to, by fear, you will also have the confidence to respectfully and politely decline when a decision is contrary to the Lord. When you submit to authority, and not out of fear, you won’t have fear to hold you back, when you need to civilly disobey or respectfully disagree with something contrary to the truth. 

This should not be taken lightly, and this is not to diminish the need for real, genuine submission; even in times when you think there’s a better way to do something. Your opinion is not always needed. Sometimes, less is more when it comes to your words. 

I’m not talking about abuse, but there is a need for real submission; even if a leader isn’t being particularly fair.

1 Peter 2:18 (MKJV) Servants, be subject to your masters with all fear, not only to those good and forbearing, but also to the perverse ones.

Again, I’m not talking about being coerced into doing something immoral. That’s the whole point of this article. But we should serve others, especially those in authority, even when they don’t deserve it, because the Lord loved and served you when you didn’t deserve it. If we can’t give undeserved love, kindness, and submission to others, who can? 

When a leader is going in a direction that is contrary to the Lord or asking you to do something that is contrary to the Lord, you can respectfully decline, because your submission is not out of fear of them. If you were submitting out of fear, you would allow yourself to be coerced, even in ways that you knew were wrong. Submission without fear allows you to defer to a leader’s judgment, even when it is not the way you would do something. And when something has gone too far, to the point of immorality or untruth, you are able to respectfully decline, because you do not fear them or their control over your life.

This is submission from a position of strength. It’s godly submission from someone who knows who they are in Christ, and who their chief leader is. It is not a forced submission because of the threat of a person or an entity. It is a submission that is completely voluntary, not under threat, but simply for the sake of godly order, knowing the authority structures that God has set in place. 

So, know who God has re-created you to be. Understand the unstoppable power of God inside of you. Recognize the name above all names and the position above all positions that Jesus has shared with you (Ephesians 1:21, 2:6). Submit to all forms of leadership, in the household, in government, or in the workplace, for the Lord’s sake and for the sake of order. Because, we citizens of heaven do all things for the sake of decency and order, but never for fear.

1 Corinthians 14:40 (NKJV) Let all things be done decently and in order.

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